It's been a long time since I've written something. It could either be because I am happy enough to not need this distraction or sad enough to not have the strength to write anything. Now, however, I think it is neither. It's just one of those times where I don't have the words for all thoughts and feelings I have.
I am weird like that.
And then I come upon this line by the great Ian Thomas about the great sadness and how weird I really am. I decide to write about the latter.
You will find happiness in my name but do you find it in my personality? Maybe so. But like mascots, all it could be is a facade. A facade of a far greater sadness, a sadness stemmed from a black hole of emotions, of the "whatevers" and the "what-nots". Simply put, this great sadness comes from nothing, which apparently, is something.
I am weird like that.
The great sadness is missing people. The greater sadness is knowing they don't miss you at all.
The great sadness is being alone. The greater sadness is being lonely even in a crowd.
The great sadness is falling in love. The greater sadness is falling in love and falling to the ground.
The great sadness is living. The greater sadness is dying each day while living.
The great sadness is having all these pathetic thoughts. The greater sadness is not seeing the hope that there is.
I am weird like that.
The great sadness is not living this life every day.
And because I am weird, I embrace this great sadness and yet I hold on to knowing that far beyond this sadness is the happiness I know exists.
